


Singing Never Hurt

by I_am_a_Cephalopod



Series: Never had [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Poe sings, and finn loves music, because he's never heard it before, just give my baby music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:30:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5659612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_a_Cephalopod/pseuds/I_am_a_Cephalopod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'Every so often, a voice would break through, singing beautifully, filling his mind with images of serenity. Finn remembered this the most, the times this voice sang to him, warm and full of care. Finn didn’t know who it belonged to, one of the nurses, maybe, or someone in sanitation, but he relaxed to its tones and missed it when it was gone.'</p>
<p>Or</p>
<p>Someone sings to Finn while he's in a coma, and he has no idea who.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Singing Never Hurt

Of all the things Finn wished he had experienced more of in his life, music was the front runner.

When he had first escaped the First Order, he had been so focused on surviving that he barely noticed the ambient noise that so many people seemed to create. The melodies that BB-8 seemed to beep out, the loud boisterous noise of the castle on Takodana, the happy chorus of pilots on the landing strip, all were drowned out by the constant worry that kept Finn on his feet during that ordeal.

And then there was nothing, just blackness that seemed all consuming. Every once in a while something would break through, like Rey’s voice beside him conjuring an image of her grinning face, gone all too quickly and never returning. Shrill beeping seemed to be a constant, and the whirr of medidroids came regularly.

But every so often, a voice would break through, singing beautifully, filling his mind with images of serenity. Finn remembered this the most, the times this voice sang to him, warm and full of care. Finn didn’t know who it belonged to, one of the nurses, maybe, or someone in sanitation, but he relaxed to its tones and missed it when it was gone.

When Finn awakes he half expects the singer to be there, hoping beyond hope he will finally know who they are and thank them for that beauty. He’s alone, though, in a room that smells of antiseptic with an undertone of charred flesh, though that might just be his imagination. His back throbed in pain, muted by whatever meds they had him on, and his shoulder ached, but he was alive, and that was much more than he had hoped for when squaring off against Kylo Ren.

Just as he’s contemplating moving, Poe Dameron walks in, almost dropping his data pad, eyes wide and jaw hanging agape when he meets Finn’s gaze. The two watch each other for a few shocked moments, Poe not even breathing for fear that this might just be a trick of them mind.

Finn is the first to break the silence.

“You’re alive,” he breathed, his voice hoarse from disuse. A startled laugh escapes Poe, a grin spreading across his face as he rushes happily to Finn’s side.

“That’s supposed to be my line,” he chided, his voice full of adoration. “You gave us all quite the scare.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

If it was possible, Poe’s smile got wider, and he grabbed Finn’s hand, squeezing it tight. Finn had no problem with that, actually enjoying the feel of Poe’s calloused fingers rubbing across the back of his hand. Casual touch hadn’t been a thing, growing up in the First Order, but Finn was finding that he liked it more and more.

“I’m going to go get a doctor now,” Poe said after a few moments. He let go of Finn’s hand, and for a moment Finn’s heart sped, panic at being left alone again raising in him. But before he left, the pilot gave him a soft smile, promising to be back in a moment.

He was true to his word, walking in a minute later behind a medidroid and a nurse. They bustled around Finn, taking readings and asking him questions. He didn’t quite mind, though, because Poe was there the entire time, holding his hand and smiling at him. He looked a little worse for wear, dark circles under his eyes and a tired slump to his shoulder. Finn wondered what had been keeping him up, but didn’t get a chance to ask, before Poe was shooed from the room.

Finn’s condition seemed to improve each day after that, or so Poe said each time he came to visit. First small movements, then sitting up with help, then by himself. Before he knew it, the pilot was escorting him on walks around medical, letting him grab onto his arm for support and telling him stories as they went.

Each day they ventured further into the base, taking their time. From time to time Finn would get frustrated with himself, wanting to go farther, walk faster, but Poe never seemed to mind walking at a snail’s crawl, and the lack of judgement helped. Poe would just slow down, asking Finn if he wanted to take a break. When Finn said no, Poe insisted that he himself needed one, and while at the time it always irked him, Finn was grateful.

One day, Poe led Finn on a deliberate path, unlike their usual meandering around base. He brought him to a place that reminded him of Maz’s place. Resistance members sat at tables drinking and talking, seeming to relax in this place. It was almost infectious, and Finn could feel some of his stress fall away. Poe led them to a table in the back corner, and wandered off to get them drinks.

While he was away, Finn examined the place, seeing some familiar faces, but none he could put a name to. In that moment he realized he really knew next to no one in the Resistance. His mood soured then, a melancholy creeping over him, and he wished he could slump in on himself without the discomfort of stretching newly formed scar tissue.

As he continued to watch, he noticed someone approaching a small platform. A tall woman, with dark skin like his and bright pink hair, pulled up in an intricate hairstyle that Finn couldn’t even start to describe. Stepping up and dragging a stool over, she picked up what seemed to be an instrument of some kind. The room seemed to quiet, everyone’s attention turning to the stage.

When she started playing, Finn couldn’t help but smile, listening to the wonderful tones of her voice. She sang of hope, and breaking away from what you’re told to do a better thing. It resonated down to Finn’s core, and he listened intently. At some point his eyes closed, but he didn’t need sight to enjoy the music, letting it carry him to some place amazing.

When the song finally ended, he opened his eyes, feeling a sense of loss. He watched as the performer bowed, the room erupting in applause, and he startled when someone clapped loudly next to him, giving a whistle too. Poe had returned during the song, and Finn hadn’t even noticed. The pilot turned to smile at him, but the smile slid from his face quickly.

“Are you ok?” he asked, leaning close.

“Yes, why?”

“You’re crying.”

Finn lifted a hand to his cheek, surprised when it came away wet. He furiously rubbed at his eyes, trying to get it to stop, confused.

“I don’t know why,” he admitted, worried. But Poe’s face softened, his smile returning, though this time it was much more subdued.

“Well, music has been known to do that.”

“What do you mean?” The look Poe gave him was slightly surprised, but then a look of understanding followed, and one that Finn could call sympathy.

“Music usually evokes emotions, like happiness, or sadness, in the listener. Crying is just one reaction to this, and plenty of people cry because of music.”

“But I’m not sad,” Finn protested.

“You can cry from happiness. That’s my favorite type of crying, to be honest.”

Poe reached out, catching a tear that slipped down Finn’s cheek on his thumb and rubbing it away gently. In that moment Finn’s heart stuttered in his chest, his lungs feeling like they couldn’t take any more air, and he stilled, waiting for something. The other man stilled too, searching Finn’s face for something, before pulling back, smile still firmly on his face.

 

* * *

 

 

After that time, Finn found himself at the makeshift little bar more and more often. He would admit to himself, and only himself, that he went in hopes of finding the mystery singer, listening closely every time someone went up to perform. But they never showed.

Poe would often come with him, though he still had missions to go on. For days at a time, Finn would wander the base by himself, wondering when Poe would be coming back, or if he even would. It was difficult to make friends in the Resistance. Despite the fact that he had helped save them all, Finn still felt like an outsider more often than not, and there were those who looked at him with worry and disdain.

He honestly couldn’t blame them.

But it seemed Poe noticed his lack of friends, as Poe noticed so many things. Of course he took it upon himself to introduce Finn to more people, in typical Poe fashion, and that was how Finn found himself at the Watering Hole, as Poe called it, surrounded by pilots.

“You have got to be shitting me,” Jessika deadpanned, looking unimpressed.

“I swear on BB-8, I am not,” Poe defended, having just finished a slightly embellished version of his escape with Finn.

“That’s a bold statement,” Wexley commented. “Does that mean I can have her if you’re lying?”

“Of course not!” Poe exclaimed. “And I’m not lying, am I Finn?”

Finn looked back at his friend, wide eyed. He didn’t want to get tangled up in this, and Poe of all people should know how easy it is to tell when Finn wasn’t being entirely truthful. So he decided to keep it simple, and shook his head. Poe grinned, clapping a hand on his good shoulder and shaking him slightly, looking at the others triumphantly.

Before any of them could continue the argument, one of the other patrons got up on stage. Like always, the room quieted, and the man sang for them, a folksy song that was upbeat. Finn liked it, smiled through the whole thing, swaying to the beat. Poe had taught him how to find the beat two weeks before, and Finn was grateful that he could now tap his foot to the music like he saw others doing.

When the song was over, the room erupted in applause, as it was known to do, and everyone went back to their conversations. Finn turned back to the table, grin still on his face, only to realize that everyone was staring at him, except for Poe, who seemed to be looking anywhere but at him. The smile slid off his face, worry that he had done something wrong replacing it.

“You like music a lot, don’t you?” Jess asked, leaning in.

“Uh...yes. There wasn’t music growing up in the First Order,” he explained, still worried that he had messed up.

“I would bet not.” She looked Finn up and down for a moment, eyes darting to Poe every once in a while, before a sly smile split her face. “Did you know that Poe plays?” Finn shook his head, giving Poe a glance when he started coughing and trying his best to help his friend not choke on his drink. “He sings too,” Jess informed, grinning at the two of them.

“I had no idea,” Finn said. “He never said anything about it.”

“I’m not all that good.” Poe looked at Jess like she had betrayed him, but she only smiled back.

“Of course you are!” Wexley chimed in. “You used to be a favorite around the base. Still would be if you bothered to play every once in a while. Everyone’s wondering why you haven’t been playing recently.”

“I haven’t been in the mood,” he explained, taking a drink.

“Why not play now?” Jess suggested.

“Would you?” Finn asked, eyes wide and pleading. All music he had heard had been wonderful, and he doubted that Poe’s would be anything different. Actually, he was sure it would be very different, for Poe had a way of making even the simplest things wonderful. What he could do with already great things, Finn wasn’t sure, but he was excited to find out.

With a sigh Poe relented, slowly getting up from his chair and giving a good glare to everyone at the table.

“I’m doing this because I want to, not because you told me to. Got it?”

“Yes sir,” the others chorused, almost as if it were rehearsed.

As he made his way up to the platform the room quieted again, before some people began clapping.  Finn was confused, because he hadn’t even played anything yet, and he had thought clapping was something you did at the end of a song, not before it even began. But Poe didn’t seem too off put by it, bowing to the crowd with his signature grin and picking up a guitar. He sat on a stool and began plucking at the strings, first testing that it was in tune and then starting up a song.

He was amazing, the best guitar player Finn had heard so far, and he seemed to get lost as he played. Poe’s eyes fluttered shut, and he swayed with the notes, looking as if this was all the world was. Finn, on the other hand, sat stock still, unable to take his eyes off of his friend. He looked so in his element, like how Finn imagined he did while flying, and he couldn’t help but think that, in this moment, Poe was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

“So, was this place your first peek at music?” Jess asked, having slid into Poe’s empty seat. Finn shook his head.

“Before Starkiller Base there were a few times, but I didn’t really notice them. When I was injured, though, someone kept singing to me,” he explained, not paying enough attention to not be honest.

“Who?”

“I don’t know, but whoever they were, they’re the reason I held on.”

Poe paused in his playing for a moment, letting a breath of silence fall over the room. Finn held his breath, feeling like there was a sudden tension in the room that was only broken when Poe’s voice rang out, clear and beautiful. And there it was, that beautiful voice that he had heard so often, that had kept him going. It was Poe all along, of course it was, that man was everything Finn had ever hoped a person could be.

Finn was frozen to his spot, watching as Poe got lost in his music. At one point they made eye contact, and Poe smiled at him, almost shy. Finn’s heart felt like it was stuttering, like it might just stop in his chest, and breathing was getting a bit harder. By the time the song ended, the room felt way too small, and Finn barely heard the pilots calling after him as he left the bar.

The night air was cool and calming, and somehow he found himself at the hanger, in front of Poe’s X-wing specifically. It wasn’t that he was trying to go there, it just sort of happened, like he was on autopilot trying to find a place that made him feel calm. But then again, it wasn’t the hanger that made him feel calm, or the X-wing, it was the man that he usually found there.

But he wasn’t here now, of course not.

The place was still calming, in its own way, completely empty as it was at this time of night. Everyone was either asleep or where he had just been, and Finn was left to himself, to catch his breath and try to feel like he wasn’t being stretched across half the galaxy, which was easier said than done. His chest felt too small, like there was a metal band keeping it that way, but he tried his best to take steady breaths.

Leaning against Poe’s X-wing, he let the cold metal ground him, keeping him in the moment and something to focus on other than what he had just learned. Poe was the singer, the one who kept him going through those weeks of nothingness. Poe had been there, waiting for him, singing to him, had watched after him from his bedside.

No one had ever said anything, ever told him. How often Poe had been there, he didn’t know, but that voice was so frequent Finn doubted Poe had missed more than a day or two of visiting him at a time. How long had Poe sat there, waiting for him to wake up?

Footsteps drew him out of his thoughts, but he stayed where he was, not knowing if he could push away from the ship without shaking apart. Everything was so overwhelming, and the world seemed like too much, but the X-wing wasn’t. It was just right.

“Finn?” called a familiar voice. Poe rounded the X-wing, Finn shifting enough to glance at him before closing his eyes again. “There you are. I got worried when you disappeared.” He stopped about a foot from Finn, close enough that he radiated heat and Finn could smell him, a mix of engine grease and spice that had started to seep into everywhere in his life. Not that he was complaining.

“Finn?” Poe asked again, this time worried. Finn couldn’t see him, but knew when Poe shifted closer, things seeming like they were moving back into place, slowly but surely. “Are you ok?”

“I don’t know?” He truly didn’t. There was worry, and something like fear clawing at the back of his neck, but there was also something warm. A light nestled deep in his chest that he doubted he could remove if he even wanted to, it was dug in so much.

Next to him, Poe hummed, not really understanding but obviously trying to help. He leaned up against the ship as well, turning to have his back to it but still looking at Finn.

“You want to talk about it?” he asked after letting the silence hang for a while.

“You sang to me,” was what Finn said. What he meant to say, he wasn’t sure, but that hadn’t been it. But now it was said, and there was no taking it back.

“There were a lot of other people there,” Poe pointed out, giving a small smile. “It wasn’t just you.”

“But it was, before.” Finn finally turned to look Poe in the eyes. Poe was looking at him like… something, warm and patient, like he had been all those days helping Finn around base. “When I was in the coma, I could hear things,” Finn explained, and a look of understanding crossed Poe’s face, before it started turning bright red. Curious. “I heard Rey once, and the medical staff, but there was a person who would sing to me, all the time. That was you, wasn’t it?”

Poe opened his mouth to respond, but said nothing. He closed it, clearing his throat before nodding with a shy smile. “Yeah, buddy, that was me.”

Without another thought, Finn did what felt right. He stepped closer, getting into Poe’s space, rested his hands on Poe’s jaw, and brought their lips together. When Poe reacted, clutching at Finn’s arms as if he were afraid he’d disappear, Finn felt the fear and anxiety melt away, that light in his chest bursting like fireworks.

They pulled back from each other, gasping for air. But Poe had a stupid grin on his face, and Finn felt laughter bubbling up in his chest. He breathed out a ‘thank you’ before pulling Poe back in for more, deciding that he never wanted to let go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. This is my first try at Star Wars, and I hope it went over well. If you find any mistakes, please say so!
> 
> As always, kudos are love, comments are motivation.


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